I want to hide in You – the Way, the Life, the Truth,
So I can disappear
And love is all there is to see coming out of me
And YOU BECOME CLEAR
As I disappear
life, appears, then you also will appear with him in glory.
During the National Prayer Gathering in Cebu, we were given a list of things we must do in order to achieve the ends to our goal of seeing our dear Savior, hearing His voice, touching Him, sensing Him. As the instructions were dictated to us, I made it a point to take note of them, even as I was on my knees, listening. The instructions are as follows:
- You must die to self. Crucify the self – your will, own plans, & desires.
- Seek the LORD GOD’s face like you’ve never done before.
- Seek with all your heart.
- Meditate GOD’s WORD day & night that you may know His plans and purposes
- Consecrate all things that belong to you as sacrifices to God.
Admittedly, I found myself immediately stuck at the first requirement. While I am quite aware that the instructions need not be done in order, my mind whirled the moment the first instruction was given… Dying to self. Crucifying the self. One question was the central focus of my thoughts – How?
Don’t get the words wrong… crucifying the self is certainly not to be taken in the literal sense. From my understanding, it is to be taken in the figurative sense, considering that our sins have been crucified with Christ.
Anyway, throughout the entire duration of our stay in Cebu, and even after I got back to Manila, I was asking God “how… what must be done in order to die to self?” It sounded so excruciatingly painful, especially considering that I was – as I always have been – keenly aware of how utterly imperfect and selfish I am. How was I to overcome that? I was tempted to cry out in sarcastic desperation, “God, can’t you just kill the self and get it over with?!” But how irreverent is that…
This morning, I found my answer. As I meditated on the book of Colossians, the words on Colossians 3:1-17 spoke volumes to me regarding this topic. Verse 3 in particular struck me. For you died… DIED… in the past tense. If you don’t get how that solves my dilemma, read the entire passage here. J
The rest of the passage goes into further detail, speaking of life in Christ and holy living, and I’m making it a point to further meditate on the said passage. But as for now, as written in Colossians 1:22-23, I am secure that if I continue in my FAITH, established & firm… in the gospel, then I am indeed holy in His sight, without blemish and free from accusation.
I serve a great, merciful and loving God and from the bottom of my heart, I am indeed grateful! I am now secure that He is with me even as I set out in my journey to pursue Him – ain’t it a paradox?! J
I would rather be cast away
Separated from the human race
If I don’t bring You glory.