My college best friend, Pnx, and I used to say that sentence a lot – “Everything happens for a reason.”
I found myself uttering the same words earlier today.
After several months of not being able to see her, we were finally able to catch up. I marveled at how her indie life magically transformed (once again) into a chick flick, while mine has somehow morphed into – in Pinky’s words – a teleserye. (To be honest, with everything going on inside, it feels more like a post-apocalyptic zombie show… twd much?!)
I didn’t realize how much I missed having those light, laugh-out-loud conversations I used to have with her back in Manila until this afternoon. We’re not the same people we were back then – although in some ways, we still are those two high school kids who first met at a Red Cross meeting we were forced to go to. I have to admit though… in certain areas, she’s matured a lot more than I have. That was a humbling realization. I’ve been having lots of humbling realizations lately – to the point where I’m not quite sure what to do with them – jussayin’.
There weren’t that many laugh-out-loud moments this time around, although there were still some of those. With her being high and happy and secure in life while I was the total, complete opposite, it was difficult to achieve a completely carefree budul-budul chronicles-worthy afternoon, but I digress…
I guess my point is that I’m thankful to have friends like her whom I can run to during particularly difficult moments in life and can feel free to be myself around – no fear of judgment or anything.
Pnx, thanks for this afternoon’s conversation. It gave me a lot of perspective. And thanks for listening without making me feel like I have to fix myself. I meant it when I said I’m excited to see you in heaven. (Wondering if there’s a coffee shop there where we can spend 3+ hours talking in.) Thanks for understanding what I meant when I said that “I’m homesick”.
Reminded of a stanza from one of my favorite Tobymac songs – Stories:
I’ve been there tooWhen everything falls apartAnd the best you can doIs get through each dayWonderin’ will this never end?
Whenever a song addresses exactly what I’m going through, it makes me feel like I’m not alone.
To be honest, I’m not exactly sure what the Lord is trying to teach my stubborn self. It just feels like a lot of humbling experiences and I’m finding it hard to catch up. I can’t wait for this to be over, but I don’t want to have the whole thing be in vain either… I don’t want to go through it again, so for crying out loud, if I have to go through this wilderness, I don’t want to walk out of it without the treasure hidden within, because dang… I’m wholly unwilling to have to go back.
Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
He gave His life to fix you
So you read this far, heh? Amazing. Thanks for reading. The moral of the story? I’m not quite sure… I really just wanted to get my thoughts out before I spontaneously combust.
Shalom, lovelies! Happy midnight!