I recently stumbled upon an article entitled “The Myth of God’s Perfect Choice” (check it out here). I found it rather thought-provoking, because it challenged many things I stood for when it came to this area of Christian life.

    Still, I can’t help but cringe over the seeming difference of perspective I have with the writer of the post (who happens to be a pastor from a well-respected church – thus, know that I write this note with fear and trembling). Anyway, couldn’t help but voice out my thoughts… so here goes…

    What’s with the Term?

    First of all, I’ve never actually used the term, God’s Perfect Choice or GPC. I find the term strange, because whoever God’s choice is for me, I’m pretty sure he is far from perfect (thank God, coz I’m not either). Even saying that the term can refer to someone who is “perfect for me” is dubious. Sure, there’s someone out there whose strengths and weaknesses complement our own, but if there’s one thing the writer and I agree on, it’s that love is a choice.

    I‘ve said this before and I’ll say it again… We – especially us girls – need to let go of our “The Notebook”-inspired view of romance. There’s no such thing as a perfect man or a perfect woman. Even if they existed, what on earth makes us think we can complement a man or woman like that?

    Love is seeing someone through God’s eyes – aware of the flaws and imperfections, but knowing that God isn’t done with that person. It’s about seeing who that person can be rather than who that person is now. Love is seeking someone’s highest good and it involves a lot of selflessness. It’s a daily, regular choice which can involve a lot of dying to self.

    Now, all that being said, I do believe that God has chosen a man for me even before time began. He’s just a smart, caring, omniscient Planner that way, but before I go on to how I believe we can discover who ‘the one’ is, let’s address that thing we call standards.

    Should We Have Standards?

    This is old-school church practice. The moment I hit my teenage years, I was told to write down my standards regarding the man I want to marry and lift it up to the LORD, Who will definitely grant the desires of my heart, because let’s face it… our God isn’t a killjoy God. Still, I was a boy-crazy teenager who thought the Moffats were cool (sheesh…) And there I was… listing what I thought I wanted, with little care about what God wanted.

    Of course, the number one item on everyone’s list is some sort of variation of He must be a Christian. I think mine was He must love the Lord more than he loves me. My next item was He must love me more than he loves himself. (Yes. I know. How selfish. Give me a break. I was fifteen.) Having written down the token first two items in any proper Christian girl’s standards list, I went on ahead and wrote down the shallowest possible requirements a girl could have for the husband she wants to end up with. I ended the list with, “LORD, I did my part. Now, do Yours.” *facepalm* That was my wishlist and God was my Santa Claus. Oh, how sacred…

    Now, at 26, I only have one item on my list (used to have two, but God kind of gently pried that second one away from me only less than two weeks ago): I will marry whomever the LORD chooses for me. I’m a doulos, after all, and I live for my Master in Heaven’s pleasure.

    Sounds oh-so-magical, I gush at the thought of it, but let’s get practical. How do I even know who it is that He’s choosing, right? How do I know who “the one” is? Will I hear a choir of angels spontaneously sing the Hallelujah Chorus the moment I lay eyes on him? Well, no… it’s a lot more subtle than that, but no less magical, because come on… this is God we’re talking about, the Author of Life. If we follow His way, how could we possibly have a boring love story?

    Anyway… Let’s get to the point…

    Is it Possible to Know Who “The One” Is?

    Yes. I believe it’s possible. The author of the article mentioned above said:

    “To tell you honestly, we will never know “THE ONE”. We are not OMNISCIENT to know.”

    We aren’t omniscient, yes, but God is, and this all-knowing, sovereign God has a plan for each and every single one of us. It’s hard for me to believe that a God Who cares enough to know the exact number of hair strands on my head wouldn’t care to have a solid plan when it comes to the man I’m going to marry.

    So how do we know “the one”? Well, we got to know The One first. This all boils down to how closely we are walking with God in friendship and intimacy. God reveals His ways and His plans to those who ask and spend time to listen. He may not reveal it to you with signs and wonders or the way you demand for Him to reveal it to you, but if you’re attuned to His still, small voice, I believe with all my heart that you’ll know.

    The question I guess is if you have a bond servant relationship with the Lord Almighty. Have you entrusted this area of your life to Him?

    I know I have, and though there are days when I envision myself – with horror – as a cranky old lady with nine-and-a-half cats sitting on a rocking chair, I simply recall how good and how awesome my Father in Heaven is and that as long as I stick with Him, I got nothing to worry about.

    It’s all about fearless trust in Who He is and the promises He’s given me.

    So is the so-called “God’s Perfect Choice” a myth? Well, probably… It depends on how we look at it I guess. If us girls see “the one” as this Mr. Right, Prince Charming, Knight-in-Shining-Armor dashing young man who will sweep us off our feet and fulfill our wildest dreams, then we’re in for a huge disappointment. The same could be said for guys who see “the one” as some sort of Megan Fox look-alike or whatever it is guys deem to be ideal (coz really… how am I supposed to know?).

    However, if we see “the one” as simply the person God created us to complement in unique and sometimes unexpected ways, then perhaps it’s more truth than myth.

    When all is said and done, the best Person to ask is still God. <3

    Well, that’s all, folks! Ciao!

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    Joanna Alonzo

    Author/Founder at Almond Tree Publications
    Joanna Alonzo is a walking paradox. She is a beautiful, albeit messy, mixture of thought and emotion, expressed in the form of hopefully readable – and relatable – stories. She is a kingdom kid, who looks forward to being a writer and storyteller even when she reaches heaven. She is passionate about the unreached, about those who have yet to know the Love she found in the arms of the Almighty. She is intrigued by the world and its people, who day by day, continue to convince her that God is the greatest Storyteller of all.
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