We were at the secret place. His presence. My sanctuary. It’s where we reason together and talk things over. It’s where I lay all fears, shame and insecurities down. It’s hope and peace and mercy. It’s life. It’s love.

    I shuddered at all that was to come. I understood then a microscopic fraction of what He went through at Gethsemane when, in the midst of intercession, He entertained the whim of whether or not there was any other way besides the cross. There was none.

    I didn‘t say anything. He knew everything. He always did. He squeezed my hand. No words were spoken.

    Just assurance. Assurance in the nail-scarred hand holding mine. Assurance that He understood. Assurance that I will never walk alone.

    his hand on mine

    The above was something I jotted down on the 27th of January 2013. His hand on mine became a memory I clung to for the next two years. I recalled it every time I felt like He was far away from me.

    His hand held mine.

    2013 was the worst year of my life, and 2014 still trembled with aftershocks from the quaking my life went through from 2013.

    Two years have passed and it remained true. His hand held mine through it all. He proved faithful. Even through times when I was too jaded, too broken to realize it.

    I’m writing this as I listen to Jayesslee’s version of one of my favorite songs, I Dare You to Move. These lines strike a cord:

    salvation is here

    I know that some (most?) people following this blog aren’t Christians. Sometimes, I feel hesitant about posting anything that alludes to my faith, but this is such a huge part of my story, even of why I write.

    We Christians get a lot of bad press lately. I can’t even say we don’t deserve it, but look back at every true Christ-follower’s life, and you will see traces of the words penned by Switchfoot’s amazing Jon Foreman.

    We all have a story of redemption. A story of a fall. A point in time when we looked at ourselves and wondered why we were the way we were. A point of surrender. Sweet abandon. A moment when realizing our depravity, we had to be dared to put our faith into action.

    Lacking this realization that we are but fallen creatures, we are white-washed tombs, self-righteous hypocrites, red-faced Pharisees. Quick to throw the first stone.

    But looking back… Even then… Before I saw my own fallen nature… His hand held mine.

    spring draws near

    I am at my wilderness and the midnight of my soul had just seen its dawn. The winter is over and the early blooms of spring have begun to surface. I’m beginning to see how fascinating the wilderness can be.

    Good things are coming. His promised words echo in the back of my mind: “From this day on, I will bless you.” I am filled with anticipation and wonderment, but my hope no longer lies in things to come.

    I’ve found hope in knowing that in every season – through all the good and all the bad – His hand holds mine.

    Photo Credit: Butterfly by miimork

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    Joanna Alonzo

    Author/Founder at Almond Tree Publications
    Joanna Alonzo is a walking paradox. She is a beautiful, albeit messy, mixture of thought and emotion, expressed in the form of hopefully readable – and relatable – stories. She is a kingdom kid, who looks forward to being a writer and storyteller even when she reaches heaven. She is passionate about the unreached, about those who have yet to know the Love she found in the arms of the Almighty. She is intrigued by the world and its people, who day by day, continue to convince her that God is the greatest Storyteller of all.
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4 Comments on "His Hand Held Mine"

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magpie14031983
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Never feel hesitant to post what you believe in! The naysayers and haters can be deleted and blocked, while your words will continue to speak to those who needed to hear them! You know I’m one of your non-Christian followers but this speaks to me also, in that no matter who you believe in, they are there for you, even when you aren’t there for yourself. They hold your hand through the times where you can’t feel it, right until the days where you realise they’ve been there all along, and then into eternity! Faith should never be apologised for, unless you are using it to hurt others! And I’m so sorry you went through such a trying time, luv, but I’m glad you are the person I know today, and without the actions/reactions to 2013, you would be a different Ivane, to the one I know and adore! *hugs and blessings my friend*

Craig
Guest

I know of dark times. I know them far better than light times. I know that if I have nothing Jesus is enough. I know that if I should ever have even everything, Jesus must be more. His hand in ours. HIM holding us. Sweet sweet thought.I heart that thought. We might hold onto him but we can only keep hold of him if HE holds onto us. Sweet thoughts. Smiling. God is love. Love is everything, no? God Bless.

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