I woke up today and found an email from my dream agent’s assistant.
I blinked my eyes several times to make sure I wasn’t just seeing things, but there it was. She had sent me an email. I clicked on the subject line immediately and waited impatiently for my slow mobile email app to load.
When I saw her message, my heart sank.
I had told her earlier that after sending her the book proposal, I kept working on the book and tweaking it, so the details on the book proposal were no longer relevant. After all, I sent it more than two months ago.
Her message today was to ask me to send an updated version of my book proposal and sample chapters.
I was thrilled that I could update the proposal with updates like:
- A tighter, leaner, edited manuscript that didn’t have an enormous word count.
- Feedback from my wonderful beta readers.
- Marketing updates – like the launch of this website.
- Updated synopses, because of the story changes caused by the editing.
- So much more.
As happy as I am to send her an updated proposal, however, my heart sank, because her response was still not the “yes” I was anticipating.
I’m still in the process of waiting, and it feels like I’m running out of time. Everything I’ve heard from the Lord pointed towards waiting. To wait and not to settle. But even as I sent the assistant the updated book proposal, I was honest enough with God to let Him know that I was tired of waiting.
All the expenses I needed within the next few months came to mind. If I just self-published, I could start selling now – at least even just the ebooks.
But His word was to wait. And then He calmed me with a whisper we so often regurgitate, but seldom allow to truly sink in:
“I know the plans I have for you,” He said. And I could imagine the smile on His face when He said it. So here I am… waiting. Trusting. Trusting that He knows what He’s doing, and that He is with me. All the way.
That whether or not it is a “Yes” or a “No” from the agent that I am waiting for, He has me in His hands. It’s all part of His plan, and I can just rest in the knowledge that He has good things in store for me.
Unlike me, He is timeless. He is not pressured nor swayed by time. He has things under control. Including me. Including my agent. Including my stories.
As I write this, I smile, because I then wonder… As I grow to be more like Him, allowing Him to work His way through me, maybe I can be timeless too.
How about you?