She wanted to stop walking around angry and bitter, feeling condemned by people who were just as weak and in need of grace as she was.

    She had to embrace the reality that life is unfair, that not everyone obeys and chooses the path of love, that life is going to knock the wind out of you and kick you while you’re down.
    But that was and will never be a good reason not to get up.

    She had to realize that bitterness and unforgiveness were akin to stabbing herself over and over and over again in hopes of killing those who wanted her dead. It was giving them power they weren’t entitled to over her life.

    Thus, she had to just let it go, to love herself again because she is loved. Deeply. And hopefully learn and live out what Christ meant when He said “love your enemies”.


    At some point in your life, I’m sure you’ve been wounded. Perhaps by someone who is close to you, someone you love. Personally, majority of my hurts as a person came from my church and the people there. I know how ugly relationships within the church can get. And it’s hard to see that, because it’s not how Christians are supposed to be like. It’s certainly not the church Jesus envisioned in His Sermon of the Mount.

    For a long time, I was jaded against Christianity and my home church. I’ve been going through a long and painful healing process that is teaching me to love again. To embrace my sisters and brothers in Christ – in all their weaknesses, in their brokenness, knowing that I was embraced by my Savior in mine.

    I love the church, not because it’s perfect. Not because of its beautiful stained glass windows and majestic facades. I love it, because He does. I love it, because we’re a community – all learning. All in different stages of healing. All guided by the Hand that holds the world.

    Have you been hurt by people from church? By Christians? Do share your story.

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    Joanna Alonzo

    Author/Founder at Almond Tree Publications
    Joanna Alonzo is a walking paradox. She is a beautiful, albeit messy, mixture of thought and emotion, expressed in the form of hopefully readable – and relatable – stories. She is a kingdom kid, who looks forward to being a writer and storyteller even when she reaches heaven. She is passionate about the unreached, about those who have yet to know the Love she found in the arms of the Almighty. She is intrigued by the world and its people, who day by day, continue to convince her that God is the greatest Storyteller of all.
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3 Comments on "On Bitterness: She had to Stop Stabbing Herself"

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Not really hurt, just jaded by the hypocrisy of the so called “Sunday Christians” the ones who Monday – Saturday are the biggest bastards out there but come Sunday, for those few hours, butter wouldn’t melt in their mouths… But I found my Faith so really I feel sorry for them because they obviously haven’t found theirs!


In so many ways that the most hurt you received are actually from the people you care and love. Amidst the constant cry of “love one another” “care for each other” lies the truth that as much as we could care more and do more for others, there isn’t really anything we can share more. The fear of having less, not benefiting from it or simply losing something you have pulls us back from doing more for others… and it hurts to know that most of often, only a few would dare to cross the line and say “so be it!”. Life is great and happiness is real but also are the constant hurt and lies. Today, I continue to live life to the fullest and I continue to be happy yet I also do not deny that life is always unfair. That hurt will always be certain and that I will still be hurt by the people I care and love.

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