Last year, tahimik ang December ko. Wala masyadong ginagawa. Sa sobrang kawalan ng gagawin, pinag-“strongly encouraged” leave pa nga kami ng bonggang bongga. Three weeks straight ang VL ko noon… hindi pa binawas yung 3-week leave na yun sa VL credits ko noong nag-layoff ang company namin by January. In short, chillax lang talaga…
“Chillax” would be the last word on my mind to describe this year’s December, but before I rant about that… let me start from the beginning…
I was able to prove this year that the following quote is indeed true: “If you’re faithful in small things, God will trust you with bigger things.”
When this year started, ang involvement ko lang sa church is yung “Wednesday Group” namin (which I sooooooo miss now) and yung naging personal commitment ko kay God to join the Friday prayer meetings and night watches. As much as I was able, I stuck with those commitments and was blessed by them.
At around January, pinagprapray ko pa lang kung magrerecommit ako sa worship team. Parang ayoko kasi I have (or had) serious stage fright. Put me in front of a bunch people I don’t know and make me sing or perform or whatever and I will shake uncontrollably and it will reflect sa voice ko. Not a very good way to sing songs to God. Kaya kahit nagkaroon na ako ng word from God (confirmed by impressions from both my dad and aunt) na mag-commit sa worship team, hindi ako sumunod until around April or May. Napagsabihan kasi ako ng tita ko. “Delayed obedience is disobedience.”
Takot ko lang kay God ‘pag ‘di pa ako sumunod.
So hayun… By the end of summer, I was involved in 3 different commitments sa church: My Wednesday Group, Friday Prayer Meetings, and Probee ako sa Worship Team (a.k.a. saling pusa).
I was aware naman na hindi magstostop dun yung service ko kay God. Hindi ko lang inakala na ganito kabilis manganganak yung mga commitments ko.
I started having discipleship sessions with my Tita Alice. Tinutukan niya talaga ako. Lahat ng questions ko about God and ministry and Christianity I was able to open up to her. I really grew up spiritually during these sessions at naging preparation siya sa akin for the things that are to come.
I really needed the preparation, because before I knew it, 6 out the 7 days in the week, may commitment na ako sa church.
So why did I bring all this up? Ganito kasi yun… I need to learn to prioritize. To be able to tell kung alin sa mga yan yung talagang pinapagawa sa akin ni God at kung alin yung mga hindi ko naman kailangan gawin. Naisip ko lang ‘yon kasi na-frustrate ako kagabi because I feel like I made the wrong choice. I didn’t prioritize the right thing.
Celebration dinner kasi ng Ako Ay Pilipino for the successful launching noong book namin. Since Wednesday kahapon, it conflicted with my KE meeting. I had to make a choice. I chose AAP. ‘Di ko rin na-enjoy kasi supposedly, priority ko ung commitment ko sa Pandacan.
Anyways, prayer item talaga siya sa akin ngayon. What are my priorities? Alin yung mga pwedeng huwag ko na gawin?
Huwag na lang kaya ako maglaba forever…