I was sitting on the front seat of the jeep to Ayala, impatiently waiting for it to fill up so we could go on our merry, midday-traffic-ridden way.
My mind was in limbo, mulling over my quiet times during the past two nights. (Bible-reading through candlelight thanks to Pedring. Oh yeah.) I was going through the mental tug-of-war between what I wanted to do and what I thought the LORD wanted me to do and then questioning all over again if I was really hearing from the LORD or just falling into the enemy’s trap. Knowing that the battle of wills going on in my head wasn’t about to be won at that moment, I decided to snap out of it, calling a momentary truce between my mind’s various opposing factions.
It was then that it caught my eye. It was right in front of me. It has always been there, right along my daily commute’s route. Two signs screaming to be recognized. They were standing beside each other.
One read ONE WAY. The other said YIELD.
I rolled my eyes a tad bit irreverently at my Abba, knowing that He had a sense of humor and was capable of getting my drift. “And so You speak,” I muttered under my breath. “What’s new?”
The thing is that’s the one word He’s been echoing to me the past few days/weeks/months. Yield, yield, yield, yield, yield. And the one cry that my spirit has responded with was, Fine. Have Your way.
He is the One Way. What choice have I other than to surrender and let Him do His thing? But how my soul is in anguish right now I can’t even begin to describe…
Still, I digress. Enough about my emotional woes. I refuse to cave in to self-pity and decry a constant “Woe is me, woe is me,” when I have every reason to sing, “Bless the LORD, o my soul,” to the GOD worthy of all my praise.
I may not be where I want to be right now. I might be a basket case of soulish emo-ness spontaneously popping into view, but just as the wonderful psalmist was, every psalm was ended blessing and magnifying He Who is our Joy, our Rock and our Strength. He is my Reason to Rejoice.
Besides, for someone who has been, as of late, banging the gates of heaven asking for direction, I find reason to grin that my God should choose to speak to me ironically using road signs. How much more literal can you get? That deserves one goofy grin on my face and even as I write this, I know that He is grinning right with me.
“Yeah, yeah, Abba… Fine. Have Your way. I trust You. I love You.”
Even if my dreams have died and even if I don’t survive,
I’ll still worship You with all my life. ~ “Have Your Way” by Britt Nicole