“You and Me, kid,” He said. “You and Me.”

    I found comfort in those words until the full realization of what He meant hit me like a ton of bricks. Everything He spoke about me being enough and Him being More than Enough came back. Alarming. Powerful. Crushing.

    The cost was displayed before me, and I’d already said “yes” long ago.

    There’s no turning back.

    “Okay, Lord. You and me.”

    And I sobbed, because if I’m to be honest, I’m not sure if He’s More than Enough. I just want to believe that He is.

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    Recently, the word solivagant kept jumping at me. I knew it would mean something to me at some point, but I didn’t expect it to mean to me the way it would.

    I’m at a point where I don’t understand what He has in store or what He has in mind, but every fiber of my being is still fighting to say that He is good. It’s hard to watch everything fall apart all around you and remain standing, because there’s a desperation within you, a rage, an ember that’s never going to burn out. I’m past the point of fear. This goes beyond determination, or even courage. I’m at the wilderness of necessity, and if He doesn’t come through for me, I will perish, but if I must, then I must.

    So here I am, solivagant, walking on, hoping that at some point, He will open the doors of heaven for me, and I will hear a trumpet-voice say, “Ascend and enter. I’ll show you what happens next.” (Rev. 4:1)

    “You and Me, kid. You and Me.”

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    Joanna Alonzo

    Author/Founder at Almond Tree Publications
    Joanna Alonzo is a walking paradox. She is a beautiful, albeit messy, mixture of thought and emotion, expressed in the form of hopefully readable – and relatable – stories. She is a kingdom kid, who looks forward to being a writer and storyteller even when she reaches heaven. She is passionate about the unreached, about those who have yet to know the Love she found in the arms of the Almighty. She is intrigued by the world and its people, who day by day, continue to convince her that God is the greatest Storyteller of all.
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10 Comments on "Solivagant"

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Beck
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“You and me kid” oh how many times I have heard Father God say this….I totally resonate with this…I will keep standing,keep saying yes.

Joanna Alonzo
Guest

Things are a mess all around me. Heck, I’m a mess. But I woke up this morning, and the first thing I did was smile. It’s the strangest thing, this peace. It’s amazing. I know that I know that I know… Everything will be okay. Nothing is under my control, which makes me free to just be, and everything will be okay.

rebekah
Guest

that’s really good…that’s been my heart’s desire this year…that I will get to a stage in my life where my foundation is knowing that God is good despite any circumstances that come…it’s like I am growing in it but still easily get shaken when things look bleak or are really hard. But He is good and He has it and it’s going to be okay…and actually will be amazing too x

Joanna Alonzo
Guest

Yes, it is! May we both get to that place where He becomes our All. <3

Janine
Guest

I went through a very rough time in my life around 17 years ago. I was ready to give up. I poured my heart out to the Lord on my nightly walk.

“Lord, you’re God, and You know how this will end. But I don’t know. I can’t do it anymore”

“My Child, you know how it’s going to end. Every knee shall bow and every tongue shall confess that I am Lord.”

God showed me that night that no matter what happened between then and eternity, I would be victorious because God had already written and finished the story!

This had helped me to accept other trials in my life since then. I know that it’s ALL about HIM, and I just need to stay faithful and keep believing Him!

Joanna Alonzo
Guest

I love that! That is so true! It’s a great reminder that He is the Great Author and that He doesn’t end His story – our story – in ashes. We can’t quit!

The Year Of The Daffodil
Guest

This touched my heart, you write in a way that makes me feel that I am there with you. I feel what you are feeling as I read. This is beautiful. You have such a gift.

Joanna Alonzo
Guest

Aw, thank you! I appreciate the kind words. Praise Him for that!

pia jingco
Guest

Nearly a decade ago I was in such a spot, and Psalm 40:1-3 became my prophetic prayer —
“I waited patiently for the Lord; he inclined to me and heard my cry. He drew me up from the pit of destruction, out of the miry bog, and set my feet upon a rock, making my steps secure. He put a new song in my mouth, a song of praise to our God. Many will see and fear, and put their trust in the Lord .”
In His sovereignty and faithfulness, in His perfect time, the prophecy was fulfilled, and this psalm became my life’s declaration. I am praying the same for you, dear sister. I know that your battle is the Lord’s, and He will win it for you.

Joanna Alonzo
Guest

Oh my! Those are the same passages I’ve been meditating on for the past ten days. It really is a season of trust, I think. Thank you the prayer! I need it in this season of transition.

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