I do not serve a blind God. Your eyes are wide open.
    Always searching, forever seeing, eternally knowing.
    Ever present, you were there. You were watching my fight.
    You stood witness as I succumbed to the cold, harsh blow
    That made me give up on winning this battle inside.

    I ran. I fled. I wallowed in the darkness of my retreat.
    Away from You. Away from the light.

    I licked my wounds like a beast damned for eternity.
    Shameful, lamentable, lonesome, wretched, ravenous beast.
    A stark contrast to the blissful glory of life in Your hands.

    I made the world my momentary tourniquet.
    I bundled myself in its controlling, murderous grasp.
    Reveling in the numbness and the pressure,
    Living out of the illusion that I could last without my Source of Life.
    Living without my Source of Life. Damnable fool I was.

    But I do not serve a blind God. Your eyes are wide open.
    You saw the struggle. You saw the fall.
    You saw the aching, bleeding heart
    That rejected this world as its momentary tourniquet.
    And in Your gentle, healing way, you tore this heart away.

    Bleeding apart from the useless rags I thought would heal,
    I once again look unto Your Light.
    Though the pain remains and the blood flows,
    I do not serve a blind God. You see me right now.
    You are the One Healing Tourniquet that will bring me back to life.

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    Joanna Alonzo

    Author/Founder at Almond Tree Publications
    Joanna Alonzo is a walking paradox. She is a beautiful, albeit messy, mixture of thought and emotion, expressed in the form of hopefully readable – and relatable – stories. She is a kingdom kid, who looks forward to being a writer and storyteller even when she reaches heaven. She is passionate about the unreached, about those who have yet to know the Love she found in the arms of the Almighty. She is intrigued by the world and its people, who day by day, continue to convince her that God is the greatest Storyteller of all.
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